Reverends, fellow cultivators, Om Mani Padme Hum, good evening.

Earlier, Rev. Lian Kai reported that, among the many sutras being printed by the Purple Lotus Society for free distribution, one is "The Buddha speaks of the Long Life Children Dharani Sutra." In providing consultation for others, I have come across many cases, with both students and non-students, who have had abortions, miscarriages, or lost a child and subsequently experienced interferences and distresses in their lives. In the past I have always advised them to do practices and to register the baby or child for Bardo services. I have even asked them to consult with the divination blocks to determine if they should install a plaque in the name of the deceased in the Ksitigarbha Room [a room at the PLS dedicated for such purposes]. This is one way of providing psychological relief to someone who suffers from guilt or is still haunted by the experience.

For some time I have urged people to print this sutra because there are great benefits in doing so. One time, a lady came with her husband for a consultation. She was educated and had a well-paying job. Both she and her husband were engineers working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her problem was that they did not have any children, so she came to ask me if anything could be done.

I closed my eyes to pray to Kuan Yin Bodhisattva for guidance. As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw a little boy, about ten years old, standing by her side, tugging at her dress, and calling her "mama." I was surprised, as she was childless and had come to ask for help in getting pregnant.

I asked her, "Have you ever given birth before?" She replied, "No, I have never had any children." I responded, "Then why am I seeing a little boy, around the age of ten, standing next to you and holding onto your hand and calling you mama?"

As soon as I finished speaking, the couple looked at each other, and the wife broke down, sobbing loudly. She told me, "When I was younger and studying as a foreign student, I got pregnant. Under the financial situation and circumstances at that time, we felt that we could not have raised the child. So I had an abortion. This was ten years ago, and I have not been able to get pregnant since then." It was indeed ten years ago when she had had the abortion. Surprisingly and unbeknownst to her, this invisible child has been following her around for ten years.

There are many cases like hers. We could only ask her to do practices to help herself, or perform Bardo Deliverance services to provide help and guidance for the spirit to be reborn. Now, this sutra spoken by Shakyamuni Buddha from twenty-five hundred years ago informs us that, when in such a predicament, one can print this sutra and enough merits will be generated to lead the deceased to be reborn.

Sometimes, the problem is caused by a family member who has had miscarriages or abortions. I have come across the case of a young girl in my counselling. She has never been married or dated and has not had any abortions or miscarriages herself, but her mother had had a previous abortion. The aborted foetus would have been her older brother, and its spirit was running around among the siblings, pushing and pulling, causing disharmony and disrupting their normal growth and development. From the point of view of the spirit, "Why couldn't I have come to this world when you guys could?" Not so long ago, families with too many children sometimes had an unwanted pregnancy terminated as a means of family planning. The spirit of the aborted foetus would sometimes stay around to cause trouble. This is what was happening in her case.

In such cases, we can help by printing this sutra. It may be one's mother, one's sisters or sisters-in-law who have had abortions or miscarriages. We may still help them this way. Otherwise, spirits may cause disruptions within the family. This happens because the child to be born may retain a karmic tie with oneself for as long as several decades. One can prevent the child from being born into the physical realm, but the karmic affinity still exists in the invisible realm. It will hang around next to one, or run around inside one's body. If one owes the child a karmic debt, then the child may try to collect in an invisible way, since the physical means is denied.

It is, therefore, an excellent idea to print this sutra, which is only a very slim book. A long time ago, I urged people to print it, but this had not been carried out until now. There is a need for its printing because modern medical procedures and easy accessibility have made abortions more available.

There was even one case which involved a man who came to ask for consultation. He was afflicted with a strange illness which the doctors could not cure. Around a certain time each year, he would be stricken by an abdominal pain so severe that he felt as if he were being stabbed. He would then start bleeding. It was a frightening experience, but medical examination turned up nothing. After looking into the matter, it turned out that he had had many girl friends and had been sleeping around a lot. Unbeknownst to him, one of the women had become pregnant. The woman knew that the man was not going to take any responsibility, as he had clearly indicated that he was not going to marry her. She subsequently had an abortion and felt a lot of anger towards him.

The woman had originally wanted to keep the child but, after deeply considering the matter, had concluded that she could not afford the child on her own. She finally went for an illegal abortion in her fifth month of pregnancy. At that stage, the baby was well formed. When there is great grievance in an aborted foetus, it looks for the source of its own demise.

Many of these workings are not apparent to us, and this is why we have to print this sutra. Printing this sutra and repenting for the mistakes we have made, can help to bring closure to the matter. It is most effective when one prints, distributes, and chants the sutra. If one just distributes it, without any helping with the printing or without chanting, one only receives one third of the merits. When one carries out all three aspects as stated in the True Buddha Sutra, blessed are the ones who chant, print, and distribute the sutras.

The Purple Lotus Society shall help print books, such as the repentance liturgies, that benefit modern men. Having a copy of a repentance liturgy in one's home, is like having an heirloom. Sincerely reading repentance liturgy, which lists all kinds of transgressions, is tantamount to confessing and repenting for all of the transgressions one has committed from time immemorial. It will lead to the diminishing and eradication of karmic hindrances.

The first time I participated in this particular repentance ceremony was in August of 1997 [the Emperor Liang Repentance held in Ling Shen Ching Tze Temple in Redmond, prior to the annual Bardo Ceremony]. Although some fellow cultivators have suggested that we practice this repentance, we have never given it a try at the Purple Lotus Society since it is so long. To be honest, practicing the Emperor Liang Repentance requires not just mental, but also physical stamina. The Great Compassion Repentance and Water Repentance are, in comparison, much shorter. Among all repentance ceremonies, the Emperor Liang Repentance is the longest and most physically tiring, taking from three to seven days to complete.

I brought Megia with me on this last trip to practice the repentance ceremony. The first morning session was begun by the Grand Master, and many masters were present. There were two sessions each day with a break in between. Since the Grand Master had to take care of business in the True Buddha Tantric Quarter, he left after the first session and told all the masters, "These sessions are not obligatory. Anyone who has time and wants to do it may stay. If you find it too demanding, you may skip it." The Grand Master made it clear that the decision was completely up to us.

After lunch, I went to the motel to pick up a few things, then hurried back to the temple. When I arrived, I took a look and saw that, of the several dozen masters present in the morning, only Master Li, Master Lai, and I had returned. Master Lai was asked to join the men at one side, and Master Li and I stayed with the other women at the other side. This was what happened during the second session. At the third session, Master Lai also was nowhere to be seen, only Master Li and I remained. I told Master Li, "You have to be brave and stick it out. Don't let me be the only one left. I have come especially for this ceremony, how come everyone has disappeared?" She said, "No, no. I will stay till the end." However, on the third day she was not able to kneel anymore and could only remain seated. While others were kneeling, she had to sit. Her chronic back pain had struck and she had to sit on three cushions to ease the pain.

I tried to encourage her, "You must persist!" She said, "Don't worry, I will keep you company." I stayed through all the sessions. Starting with the first session, by entering into a true mode of confession, I was able to see the workings of karmas and reincarnations and how obscurations and hindrances arise. Shakyamuni Buddha has told us that karmic hindrances have prevented us from seeing clearly. Our present conditions are results of previous actions. There are karmic causes behind one's wealth or poverty, functional or dysfunctional family, high or low intelligence, and luck or misfortune. All these are listed in great detail in the repentance liturgy. Every transgression in words, thoughts, or deeds may result in karmic retribution.

For example, we have many offerings here at the shrine. After a while, these offerings must be brought downstairs to the dining room. Perhaps a student or reverend, seeing some food item he or she likes, decides to hide the item for his or her personal use. Even such an act is listed in the repentance liturgy as a transgression which one needs to confess and repent. Isn't it terrifying!

Some of the things listed would not have occurred to you as a transgression, until you read about it. For example, we are sitting here now and are thirsty, so we ask Rev. Lian Kai to go downstairs to bring us some bottled water. Or, in the old days, we would ask him to draw some water for us. He would say, "Fine, I will be responsible for drawing the water." After drawing the water and, as he was bringing the bucket up for us, perhaps it occurred to him to have some. "My mouth is so dry, let me first take a sip." It is quite terrifying that such a simple action constitutes a transgression! You have been delegated to go and draw the water for everyone. Therefore, the water belongs to everyone and you owe it to everyone to notify them first before drinking the water.

How can one exit without making any errors? You may say to yourself, "I have not beaten, cursed, or killed anyone, and I have a good heart." But, when taking a sip of water this way creates a karmic transgression, how can one be immune from making any errors at all? Reading this in the repentance liturgy struck terror in me. The accidental errors one commits are just too numerous. How can one ever wash them away? It is impossible!

Contained in this thick volume of Emperor Liang Repentance are all kinds of karmic transgressions. An error may take only a few seconds to commit, yet its consequence can impact one's life in one, several, or even numerous lives to come.

Last week I told you a story of Shakyamuni Buddha which happened during one of his reincarnations. Although Shakyamuni became the Buddha in one life, it does not mean he was extraordinary in all his lives. Last time, during the Red Jambhala fire puja, the Red Jambhala revealed to me that there was a karmic tie between him and me. I had been his teacher in one of my previous lives. While it may sound extraordinary, it is in fact a very simple matter. If anything, it shows how great the Red Jambhala is. He is not bound by transmigrations while I have to go through transmigrations. Therefore, I am in a more sorrowful state than he is. He was revelling in joy while we were doing the fire puja.

Before becoming the Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha led lives of wickedness, destructiveness, animals, and hell beings. One time, he was in the realm of hells and had to wear around his head a very hot and burning ring. The burning made him cry out in pain. He asked the official who was administering the punishment, "Why is this happening to me?" The official said, "Quiet down and look back to your previous lives to see what you have done." Since he had a deep root of wisdom, he was able to quiet down to look for the cause.

In another life, he was someone who had relished killing and was easily provoked into doing so. His mother abhorred such behavior and tried to dissuade him. One day, his mother decided to hide his slaughter knife. When he noticed his knife missing, he became angry. After a long search, he finally found it behind his mother, who was taking a nap. He was so upset that he decided to step over her to retrieve the knife. Just as he was picking up the knife, he accidentally stepped on her head. The pain woke her up, as the weight of a grown up man could be tremendous. He did not feel he had done anything wrong and chided her, "Why have you hidden my knife?" Without waiting for an answer, he ran off.

Just this one act caused him, after finally exhausting his blessings, to descend to the realm of hells and suffer the retribution of having a burning ring around his head. Isn't it horrifying?

Shakyamuni Buddha has lived many other lives apart from the one in which he attained Buddhahood, and he definitely has had many teachers and formed many kinds of karmic ties in those other lives. So it is not so strange when the Red Jambhala said that I once had been his teacher.

The Red Jambhala has a great affinity with us and, one of these days, I must tell him, "You are so joyful, please help us to become just as joyful. Do not dance and revel in joy just by yourself! We would like to attain the same level as you and be a Joyful Deva." If one does not yet have the ability to be a Buddha, then one should be a Joyful Deva. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone were happy and joyful?

The force of karmic retribution is tremendous. This is why it is necessary to participate at repentance liturgies. By gaining the understanding and learning what kind of retribution follows certain actions, one may avoid indulging in unwholesome speeches, thoughts, and actions. This is of utmost importance. Otherwise, one would say "I don't care." I often hear people say they don't care. People may think they do not care, but retribution can change people's minds.

During my near death experience eight years ago (1990), when I almost hemorrhaged to death, my spirit travelled to the upper spiritual realm. The Grand Master stopped me and asked me to come back to the human realm because my mission in the world was not finished. I refused, "It is so liberating to be able to leave, please do not make me go back to all those sufferings." I had not committed suicide, and I was just having my karmic retributions neutralized. Although it was an ugly death to lose all of one's blood, it was a result of my own actions. In my previous lives, I had committed too many killings. Having been a general, a king, and a leader, how many lives had been terminated as a result of my command? Of course I had to pay the debt and balance the karma; therefore, I accepted my death with great willingness.

But the Grand Master insisted that I come back. I tried to defy him. After all, being in the spiritual realm endows one with a power greater than one has on earth. I tried my best to resist returning.

He said, "Come back, there are all these tasks that need to be done." I decided to have a preview of what I would encounter when I returned. After spreading open the clouds, I took a look and was petrified by the pervasive darkness below. While it was bright in the upper worlds, the realms below were completely shrouded in a blackness. What a challenge it would be to try to push the blackness to one side and find a path for oneself and others to follow! Everything was darkness, like ink spilled from a bottle and staining everything it touched. My job was to pave the way for sentient beings to find the path to the Light. What an arduous task! How could one go about such a task?

Of course, after seeing such a scene, I ran away. I made up my mind that I would not come back. However, as I have said many times before, I had no choice but to come back. Why? Because my power was not as great as the Grand Master's. He has cultivated to a level higher than I. He is a Buddha and has attained full realization. I had nothing. It took him no time at all to toss me into the world again. It was that simple. He just picked me up and then dropped me back.

That was why, after I was rescued, I went to say thank you and prostrate to him. I told him that I would be working very hard, so next time, when I need to make my escape, he would not be able to stop me. I also acknowledged to him that he knew that I was really not qualified to ascend yet. I would only be fit for a door-keeper there. After all, there are many rungs on the ladders in the spiritual realm. One goes to the level appropriate for one based, on one's merits, level of realization, and spiritual power. Not everyone who returns becomes a Buddha or a Bodhisattva. At that time I had only taken refuge a few years earlier, I had not done much and my understanding was not profound. Of course I would be assigned to the level that befitted me. I would have to climb the ladder step by step. The Grand Master was actually very compassionate in bringing me back, allowing me another chance to work harder, so that the next time around I could run faster and would not be a door-keeper.

After returning, I have realized that I am in a war zone full of land mines. It is so treacherous that any misstep could blow me into smithereens. All kinds of situations, if not handled correctly, are potentially explosive land mines. That is why I must be very careful and alert. Before my mission here is accomplished, I absolutely must take my task seriously and not step on those land mines.

Earlier, Rev. Lian Yang talked about not making any mental discrimination between one's own job and other people's jobs. If one understands the true meaning of human existence, one will very naturally do whatever business needs to be done. One will not think, "No one has asked me to do this," or "it is below me to do it." Very naturally, one regards every task that needs to be done as one's own task. It is the recoiling of self and the comparison of self to others that gives rise to disputes and emotional distress. When one regards every job as one's job, then the problem is solved. Things are much simpler when disparate thoughts are focused into one single thought.

A while ago a fellow student told me her grievances. She felt that she cared for others a lot and oftentimes reached out her hand first, but others did not reciprocate. This saddened her. What were the causes of the problem? Were those fellow students who rejected her to blame? I told her, "The problem lies in being suspicious." She said, "Right, right, they are too suspicious of me." I said, "No, it is you who are suspicious of them. It is mutual suspicion." A person's suspicion can create many unfortunate and regrettable situations.

Basically, when you do not engender any thoughts of suspicion, your life will be much simpler. Even it is clear that another person dislikes you, do not dwell on it. Instead, receive and embrace him with smiles and extended arms. He may be very mean and try to hurt you, but there will come a day when he feels that you are the loveliest and friendliest among this whole group of people. At the end, he will even become your best friend.

I have a very good Dharma Protector helping me. Over these last several years of doing cultivation and propagating the Buddhadharma, there have been many negative rumors circulating about me. My best Dharma Protector has completely shielded my hearing and seeing faculties from all these rumors while they were happening. I was not affected and was able to remain focused on my goal. It was when the task was almost complete that I started to hear about the rumors which had circulated two to three years before. By then they had become things of the past and could no longer cause me any pain.

For example, what if I was going to pour a cup of water for you to drink, and someone started a rumor that I had poisoned the water in order to kill you or inflict you with diarrhea. If I had learned of such an accusation while I was going to pour the water into your cup, I would have felt wounded. Before I would be able to offer you this water to relieve your thirst, I would have lost heart and felt discouraged and decided to discard the water.

It was with a heart of joy when I offered to relieve everyone's thirst. If I had learned that my intention was misunderstood, I would have stopped pouring the water so as to put down the rumors. The Dharma Protectors were wonderful in turning off my hearing faculty. I was totally unaware of all those rumors and happily kept urging others to drink, "Have a cup!" Everyone's thirst was relieved. Then, a couple of years later, when I heard talk of "poison in the water," it no longer meant anything.

Therefore, being unaware of current rumors has an advantage to it. It allows me to be more focused on the task of teaching the Buddhadharma. I am very grateful to the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and Dharma Protectors for keeping me from being disturbed, so I may remain positive and energetic towards our goal.

I always pray to them to give me such opportunities, so I may carry out my task fearlessly, without any regrets, until I attain Buddhahood. You have to pray for such opportunities, otherwise, it is useless to say, "I vow to help deliver sentient beings, three of them or thirty of them, each year." If you make such vows, you have to act upon them. Someone you meet at dinner, someone at the shopping mall who has dropped something which you pick it up, someone not feeling well and you give him a helping hand --- all these are opportunities for you to enact your vow. A power will be generated when a vow is enacted. Vows which are not act upon carry a heavy interest penalty with them.

Earlier, during meditation, the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas told me, "Tell everyone the key to Enlightenment." Do you know what the key to Enlightenment is? The goal of the True Buddha School practices is to attain "Enlightenment and Liberation." How does one attain Enlightenment, the innate Heart and Buddha Nature? You have to understand that every practice has its own key.

The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas asked me to tell you the key to Enlightenment without providing me with the answer. This indicates that they think I know the answer. The answer is quite simple. Just these eight words: "I am the Buddha, the Buddha is I."

It is just this simple. Experience the truth in these words: I am the Buddha. Do not think the Buddha is so high up there that you are being arrogant in making such a consideration. There is no difference between oneself and the Buddha --- this is the key to Enlightenment. Contemplate it, then go and practice it. If you just think about it and do not act upon it, then it is useless.

I have given you this example before. One time, I was waiting outside a public restroom which had only one toilet. More than a dozen people were in line. It was so stinky in there that everyone was holding onto her nose when she came out.

When it was my turn, I went in and saw that the toilet bowl had been stopped up, and water mixed with urine and feces was overflowing onto the floor. What should one do? There were still a dozen more people waiting outside. The solution is very simple! Take a look at what the problem is. If the toilet is not flushing, something must be blocking the drain hole. Just pull out whatever is stuffed down there. I put my hand into the toilet bowl and scooped out those thick pieces of paper, then I pulled out whatever was blocking the drain hole and threw it into the garbage can. I pressed the lever, and the toilet started flushing. There were paper towels in the restroom, and after using them to do a little clean up, I went to wash my hands. If one washing is not enough, wash them two or even three times. Well, with that taken care of, I was able to use the restroom myself, and everyone after me could also use it. How simple! This is doing spiritual cultivation. Spiritual cultivation is just this simple.

A non-practitioner would not need to do such an unsavory task. But today you are a spiritual cultivator; matters that benefit everyone become your concern. You would not make a distinction between you and others. You ascend along the path to seek after the Buddha and the Tao, and you descend along the path to help all sentient beings. Only when above and below and you, yourself, are all aligned into one continuum, are you truly walking on the path. This is something we can learn, as it is not something with which we are born. You just need to constantly remind yourself and be on the alert. If you cannot even bring yourself to perform such a service, what else can you do? If you are unable to bring yourself to do a small task such as this, how can you hope to attain Buddhahood which is a billion times more challenging? When urging yourself on, your determination will be firmer. Spiritual cultivation is only possible when your will and determination become progressively stronger.

The path is long, with many lessons and tests ahead for your training. You want to pass these tests for your own sake, not because you want to show off your report card to others. When you are truly walking on the path, you will be able to perceive things on a deeper level. Others can see only the exterior, but you can see beyond the facade. With a wider and deeper perception and a more expansive heart, you will enjoy a great degree of freedom in your life.

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