First of all, let us pay homage to our root guru and all past lineage gurus.

Venerables, fellow cultivators, good evening. Om Mani Padme Hum. Today is the birthday of Padmasambhava, who is also our lineage guru.

We know that Padmasambhava has attained the Rainbow Body accomplishment, and that he did not leave behind any of his physical body when he departed from this world. He was able to transform his body directly into rainbow lights, soaring up, and dissipating into the sky. Today, he still exists and roams throughout the worlds in all ten directions. This ability to cultivate to the point of transforming matter into light was a great feat. I have often pondered upon this inconceivable state at which he arrived. How did he do it? How did he manage to transform a body with eyes, ears, mouth, flesh--a body that needs to feed and excrete, a body that has ordinary emotions--to completely divest it of substance, and transform it into light? I have been pondering this kind of inconceivable cultivation for some time. How many of you have seen the tangka of Padmasambhava with the swirls of rainbow light radiating from his brow-point and his heart? We have such a tangka here at the temple which we sometimes bring to the shrine at the school. The five-colored light-swirls represent the lofty and inconceivable Rainbow Light Accomplishment that Padmasambhava has achieved. I often pray that one day I will cultivate to the point at which I will realize this Rainbow Body.

I greatly admire and revere Padmasambhava. In 1997, I had the opportunity to take a trip to Nepal. The purpose of the trip was to procure statues and tangkas for the opening of the school and to visit and pay homage to the caves where Padmasambhava had meditated. One of these caves housed a Padmasambhava statue, and pilgrims could offer katas to him. According to Tibetan belief, if the tossed kata lands on the arms or other parts of the statue, this signifies that Padmasambhava accepts one's offering and will give one blessing. If the kata falls before reaching the statue, then it means that one has great karmic hindrance. The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas will not accept one's offerings, and one needs to truly repent for one's transgressions and start accumulating more merits. Therefore, when it came time for us to offer the kata, I felt great pressure. It had nothing to do with whether the kata they gave me was long, short, heavy, or light. I felt that all eyes were on me to see if the kata I offered and tossed would land upon the hands of Padmasambhava, one which held a vajra and the other, a skull cup. There was quite a distance between me and the statue, and there was also a pool of water between us. I don't know why they had placed water there. The statue was about ten to twelve feet away. I found myself wishing I had played basketball in my spare time. If I had been practicing and had good shooting skills, then I would have felt more confident throwing the kata.

That was my first visit to a Tibetan shrine, and the Dharma brother who took me there kept urging me, "Master, toss it, just toss it." Holding the light kata in my hand, I did not have the courage to toss it. I was worried. "What if the kata does not make it to the hands of Padmasambhava and falls to the ground or into the water? That would mean that I have little merit and am not worthy of offering a kata to him. I have so much karmic hindrance that the guru rinpoche would not accept an offering from me." Standing next to me was a lama with a long stick in his hand. I had no idea why he was holding the stick, but the presence of the stick was intimidating. It was as if he was going to hit me with it! I hesitated with the kata in my hands. I continued chanting mantras to empower the kata to make it stiffer, so it would have a better chance of making it across. I also kept eyeing the stick. Finally, right before I was about to toss the kata, I asked the lama what he was going to do with the stick. "Well, after you let go of the kata," he said, "I will use the stick to carry it onto the statue." [Master and audience laughter] What he meant was that, if he saw that the kata was not going to make it across to the statue, he would pick it up in the nick of time to lift it over. When I heard that, I exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell me earlier!" If he had told me earlier, I would not have worried so much. That was the first time I had come across such a ritual, and all their talks about what the ritual meant had given me a great deal of pressure. If they had not told me anything and just given me a kata to offer, perhaps by chance I would have succeeded in landing it on Padmasambhava's hands. So, when I heard the lama's explanation, I said immediately, "That is good. Why don't you just bring this kata over for me. That way, there is no need for me to toss it." He said, "That's fine too." So, I had him do it for me.

But, afterwards, I felt very bad. Why didn't I even have the courage to give it a try? It was really just a psychological obstacle for me. If no one had been watching, it would not have mattered what the result was. Yet, when several pairs of eyes were upon me, the pressure was unbearable. At that moment, I felt very embarrassed for my lack of fearlessness. So, I knelt down and prostrated to Padmasambhava. I said to him, "I indeed have great karmic hindrance. Even this simple offering of the kata has become an obstacle for me. Why couldn't I just be brave enough to toss out the kata and not worry about it? As long as I did it with great reverence in my heart, what would it matter if it did not make it to your hands?" I was full of contrition for my failure, as it was a clear indication that my heart had not been open. I prayed to Padmasambhava for his forgiveness. I also prayed to him to bless me with light, wisdom, and fearlessness so that I would be able to carry out the mission of disseminating the Dharma. I had not spoken before about this episode because it was not something I was proud of --- that I did not have the courage to toss the kata and had to ask someone to bring it over for me.

At that moment, guru rinpoche spoke to me. He said, "What you have in your hands does not exist!" You have heard me talk about this part before. Why did he say that to me? It was because of what had happened earlier. Then he was silent. Indeed, I was empty-handed at that moment because the kata in my hands had already been offered. But, why did he say that? I pondered his words as we visited the other caves where he had meditated. Those caves were, indeed, inconceivable! They were so shallow they only could accommodate one person at a time. The floors of the caves were uneven and jagged. Yet, it was in this environment that he had cultivated and developed the ability to slip his physical body underground and to resurface in another cave some distance away. Through his success of the Wrathful Vajra Deity Practice, he acquired the power of subjugation. He had attained all this by cultivating in these caves in Nepal before leaving for Tibet to subjugate the bonpo sorcerers there.

When we reached the third cave, we found that it had been boarded up. No one was allowed inside. They told me the cave was a dragon den because it was at this site that the Dragon King had manifested to Padmasambhava and vowed to be his Dharma protector. There was originally no water in that area, but Padmasambhava was thirsty, and he prayed to the Dragon King. When the Dragon King heard the prayer, he immediately caused rain to fall and a spring of water started to form. Ever since, the water at that pool has never been exhausted. At that site, there was a very strong presence of the Dragon King.

On the way to this cave, I was still mulling over the words Padmasambhava had spoken to me --- "What you have in your hands does not exist!" I was not paying close attention to the environment around me. My mind was still dwelling in deep reverence and awe for Padmasambhava --- how did he manage to cultivate to reach such an inconceivable state of accomplishment? It was by all means a most remarkable feat. He was a human being like us, with the same emotions and feelings that we have. How did he manage to let go of all these feelings and attachments to persevere meditating alone in those caves? How did he do it? There was no electricity, no water, no food, and no material comforts to speak of. The caves were very shallow. When it rained, one would get wet, as there was not much shelter from inclement weather. How did he do it? All along, as I paid homage in the caves, I kept asking myself these questions.

In front of the third cave we approached, the ground was strewn with all kinds of excrement from dogs, chickens, pigs, and birds. The place was very dirty, foul smelling, and suffered from neglect. It was such an extraordinary and holy site, yet no one was in charge of the keeping of its grounds. When I reached this cave, I very naturally knelt down to prostrate to Padmasambhava although the ground was very dirty and covered with excrement. In my mind there was only the single burning desire to plead to Padmasambhava to take pity on us practitioners who wanted to cultivate to reach Liberation, Light, and Wisdom. I prayed that he would help us and give us support. As soon as I knelt down, both my hands and knees landed in excrement because there was not a clean spot on the ground. At that time, I had no reaction to the condition of the grounds. I just knelt down automatically to pray to him. In my mind, I believed that all places in which the guru rinpoche had meditated were pure and sacred. Men had created filth. When one ignored the filth created by men and focused on the purity of the lineage guru, then one only held purity in one’s mind. At that time, my whole body prostrated on the ground. Initially, only my hands and knees touched the excrement. But soon, the entire front of my attire was completely covered with the excrement. When I turned both my hands over, they were smeared with excrement, and I immediately visualized that I was touching the soft soles of the shoes of Padmasambha. Actually I was touching the soft excrement, but I was using my mind to transform the experience. At that moment, I really did not have any feeling that I was touching excrement. Because of this one moment of utmost veneration in my heart during my prostration, an epiphany came to me. I was able to, in that instant, understand the revelation behind the words transmitted to me at the first cave. This was his way of helping me understand, through this series of experiences, the meaning behind the words "What you have in your hands does not exist!"

We can ask ourselves, of all the things that we can touch with our hands, is there any that will last forever? There is nothing that you can hold onto and claim forever as yours. Do you think that objects you can touch --- money, jewelry, clothing, lovers, friends, houses, and cars --- are really yours? Padmasambhava says they do not exist. All these things are not yours. They are just here for you to look at. There is really no object that truly belongs to you. You can't incorporate them into you by eating and swallowing them. Can you swallow money, houses, cars, and your loved ones to make them part of you? If you can't swallow them, how can you make them part of you? Only things that you can swallow and digest and absorb will become a part of you. Even a woman carrying a baby in her womb will have to be separated from the baby when the pregnancy is over. During the pregnancy, one might consider the baby to be part of the mother. But once the baby is born, it is no longer part of the mother. It has its own language, thoughts, personality, and opinions. It is no longer yours. So, things you can touch with your hands are non-existent, empty, illusory, and fabricated.

Padmasambhava wanted me to experience and validate this truth for myself. He was able to arrive at his accomplishment because he knew that all physical objects touched by our hands are just fabrications and illusions. He had intuited this truth, and that was why he was able to let go of all these attachments. Earlier, during the fire puja, Padmasambhava said, "If one does not have any ‘gua-ai’ [obscurations] in one's heart, one's heart will definitely emit light."

We pray to Padmasambhava to help us develop light in our heart. How can we receive this light? We admire him for the accomplishment of the rainbow light body, but where has this light come from? In his heart, there is no shred of obscuration, attachment, or emotional affliction. When one has emotional afflictions, one will definitely have obscurations. As I have mentioned in the past, the Chinese character for love is "ai," and it sounds the same as the "ai" in "gua-ai," the term for obscuration. When one loves and is emotionally attached to something, one will worry about losing the object, and this will give rise to emotional affliction. Let us face it, most of the loves we have in our hearts are egotistical loves and will lead to emotional afflictions. If a love cannot be expanded to become as infinite as the sky, it will definitely give rise to emotional afflictions. That is why Padmasambhava says when one does not hold obscurations in one's heart, one will definitely emit light.

When one is able to empty the mind and rid oneself of all egotistical identifications, then one will develop the transcendental powers to enter into the miraculous play of the Universe. After the prayer of intent for this fire ceremony was read, I heard that you included in your requests for empowerment, such powers from the lineage guru. When you enter into the state of "wu-wo" [no-self], you will naturally be able to manifest all these powers spontaneously. When there is no self, there is no concept of the objective world either. When the concept of "self" disappears, the concept of "others" also vanishes. All characteristics and distinctions relating to others will become non-existent. In that state, one can transcend the physical world, penetrate solid walls, and travel between heaven and earth. When conceptualizations which pertain to all these are shattered, one will definitely be able to enter spontaneously into the transcendental play of the Universe. One can go anywhere in the Universe. Today, Padmasambhava no longer has any concept of the material world, and he does not have the obscuration of a self. That is why he can manifest in rainbow lights, ascend to the sky, go through concrete walls, or dive underground. He said, "These feats are not very difficult to achieve. If you want to develop such powers, of course you can."

Often times, when some of our fellow cultivators succeed in awakening some of their psychic energies, or when their bodies start to move spontaneously in chi practice, or when cultivators experience psychic visions, they think they have developed transcendental powers. Those are not transcendental powers. It is incorrect to think that the experiencing of some psychic visions is proof of the attainment of transcendental powers. I recently received a fax from the leader of a local chapter. He said he had heard the Grand Master telling him, "You have attained the Tao!" Can it be this simple? Let me tell you, if one has attained the Tao, one does not need anyone else to tell one so. If today one has attained Enlightenment, does one need someone to announce that one has attained Enlightenment? For example, one should know better than anyone else how much money one has in one's pocket. If one only has a scrap of paper in one’s pocket, then no matter how much money others say is there, one knows one doesn't have it. One should know when one is full after a meal, needing no one to announce, "Oh, you are full!" One should know one's own state better than anyone else. Therefore, this kind of psychic experience is not to be trusted. When I received the fax, I was alarmed. If he hears voices, is unable to use wisdom to distinguish if the words are valid and, instead, accepts them at face value, then there will be trouble.

The goal is to attain success and accomplishment in your practice. Psychic experiences are not accomplishments. To become an accomplished cultivator is to understand and internalize Padmasambhava's words, “What you have in your hands does not exist!” Then, you will no longer have any obscurations in your heart. As taught in the Diamond Sutra, only when you have rid yourself of all conceptualizations, of forms and ideas, are you Enlightened. When you are still attached to distinctions between self and other, you will not attain any accomplishment. Ask yourself --- you should be the one who knows yourself the best. Do you have worries, attachments, suspicions, fear, sadness, terror, anger, and vengeance in your heart? You may look calm on the outside, but what is your internal world like? You should know your internal world very well. This is very important.

That was why Padmasambhava said earlier, "If you want to develop transcendental powers, it is very simple. Get rid of the conceptualization of what constitutes a solid world." Take this wall here, whether it is thick or thin, wood or concrete, if you do not have any concept of a wall, you will be able to pass through it. In the incident that occurred to me, as soon as I picked up the kata in my hands, I immediately felt its weight and formed in my mind the concepts of a piece of fabric, the length of the kata, and the distance between me and the statue. Their instructions to me regarding the meaning of the proper landing position of the kata further influenced my thinking. I bcame too afraid to even toss the kata and asked the lama to carry it over for me. Later on, I realized that others even rolled the katas up into balls and flung them across.

Actually, even though the distance was great and the statue was placed very high, as long as one's heart is true and sincere, one should not find the circumstances so daunting. To be able to toss the kata and have it land on Padmasambhava's hands, one has to first eliminate the concepts of "distance" or "obstacle". At that time, I did not understand this and, therefore, created obstacles for myself from what I saw and heard. Since I was not able to let go of the concepts and obscurations I had created, Padmasambhava took the opportunity to tell me, "What you have in your hands does not exist!"

I did not have to become so caught up with the weight, length, and concept of the piece of cloth. It did not really exist! What really exists is my heart! What I have to do is make a sincere offering out of my heart! It really does not matter whether the kata will land properly or fall into the water. What is important is that one's heart is sincere. Later, when I arrived at the third cave, I prostrated my whole body on the ground without any consideration of how filthy it was. At that moment, I did not have any concept of filth or repulsive feelings toward the excrement; my mind was filled with awe and veneration and focused on Padmasambhava. I was not afraid of getting myself into the filth and stench on the ground. When one is able to open up and let go of all these concepts and obscurations, one will arrive at a deeper level of realization.

This is the inspiring revelation Padmasambhava is giving us today on his birthday. After I came back from the trip to Nepal, I skipped the details about my offering of the kata in my talks to you. I was ashamed of my behavior--that I never actually tossed the kata but asked someone to carry it over for me. This created a knot inside my heart which I carried as I embarked on the rest of the pilgrimage to the other caves. But, in the end, this same obstacle allowed me to gain a new understanding. In this human realm, we go through processes of learning and training. It is through these processes that we develop wisdom. I would like to advise every fellow cultivator who is really keen on pursuing the Tantrayana path to pray earnestly to the lineage guru for the development of wisdom and the magnifying of light within you. A person without wisdom will be a very mediocre and ordinary person. When you are an ordinary and mundane person, temptations will beckon to you and the arousal of desires will never cease. With wisdom, you will be able to break through these temptations. When you have light, you will have everything.

So we must pray to the lineage guru to help us develop the wisdom and light within us. If you only pray for money and physical possessions, these will only increase your worries and anxieties. The lineage guru has already told us, “What you have in your hands does not exist!” So look upon what you have, as if it does not exist. This way you will not be enamored or misled.

May you all have peace and auspiciousness! Om Mani Padme Hum.

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